Undivided – the story of Vicky Beeching

cover-mobileA church I was once part of was very keen on Christians ‘telling their story’. People might argue about theology, we were told, but they cannot argue with your story. When you tell your story clearly and from the heart, its authenticity will ring true to even the most hardened skeptic.

‘Undivided’ is the story of Vicky Beeching. Vicky was a Christian worship leader and songwriter. Throughout the 00’s her songs were sung and she led worship in some of the largest evangelical and charismatic churches in the USA. She had known she was gay from her early teens but believed these attractions were deeply sinful and so struggled with inner turmoil for 20 years. Aged 34, and realising this struggle was crippling her physical and mental health, she came out as gay. She had never so much as kissed a woman, but coming out cost her career anyway, as record contracts and bookings were cancelled, and she was shunned and vilified both privately and publicly. In ‘Undivided’ Vicky tells her story from early teens, through her time at Oxford studying theology, her years in the Christian music industry, her agonies at coming out, her struggles with chronic illness, and her new career as an equality and inclusion activist who lives very much in the public eye.  She also tells how far from abandoning her Christian faith, she has found a faith which is stronger, more authentic, and more meaningful than ever before.

Part of Vicky’s story is realising that what the Bible ‘clearly says’ about same-sex relationships isn’t really that clear after all. Many of the so-called ‘clobber passages’ can be easily addressed but fundamental is Romans chapter 1 which appears to condemn both male and female homosexual relations. However we know that in Greco-Roman culture, same-sex behaviour was primarily seen in terms of a power-play, between men and adolescent boys (masters and servants), via prostitution, and by men who were also married to women. This is worlds away from loving, committed same-sex relationships. ‘Undivided’ is not however a theological treatise, and readers who are interested are referred to a number of other resources, for example, those from Matthew Vines (1).

When I was 21 I went to stay with a Christian friend and his family for a few days before we moved into a shared house for our final year at uni. One day as he was driving me up the M6 motorway he turned to me and said,”There’s something I want to to know about me – I’m gay”. I’d been brought up in a very conservative evangelical church setting and don’t think I’d ever met anyone openly gay before. I’d never even considered challenging the assumptions about being gay that I’d grown up with. Fortunately however I found myself replying before I’d had time to think, “This doesn’t change the way I think about you. You are still one of my closest friends. Thank you for telling me”. Things took an interesting development later that month when we moved into our student house and the third friend sharing with us disclosed that he too was gay. My two friends, both evangelical christians, had different perspectives on being gay. The first felt that he had always been gay, always would be gay, and resigned himself to a life of celibacy. The second felt that through much prayer and humble obedience he would stop being attracted to men and eventually be able to have a fulfilled hetrosexual marriage. Like many gay christians he took this path but after 2 children and 15 years his marriage could not stand the strain. His story continues on a happier path and he has been in a stable relationship with a man for over ten years.

Everyone we meet has a story. Although it is important we understand our own story, perhaps it more important to listen to the stories of others. Too long has the church projected an ideal story upon the lives of its members while those for whom it does not fit are forced to suffer in silence or be shamed and ostracised. The consequences of this can be tragic; the high profile case of Lizzie Lowe (2) is  just one of countless stories that should make all of us who call ourselves Christians deeply uncomfortable.

But Vicky’s story is also a story of hope. Hope that we can all live lives that are not torn between who we are and what others want us to be. Hope that we can all live lives that are full of grace not shame. Hope that the church will one day not be divided by prejudice but united in love.

It is high time we, the church, listened to the stories of LGBTQ+ persons,whether Christians, former Christians, or those who would never seek God in the church. Only by listening to others will we hear the voice of God, challenging our own attitudes and idols, calling us to journey further into grace and mercy. We have much to learn and little to teach to those who we have forced to carry this burden of shame, and for whom we have closed the doors to the kingdom of heaven.

So I highly recommend you read Vicky Beeching’s story, either in the book or on her website (3). And I strongly encourage all of us to take every opportunity to listen to the story of others, to really listen, humbly and attentively. We might just hear the voice of God speaking of a story more beautiful than we had ever dared were possible.

Resources

  1. Matthew Vine’s website
  2. Report in The Telegraph on Lizzie Lowe
  3. Vicky Beeching’s website
  4. Buy ‘Undivided’

Benefit of the Doubt

doubtBenefit of the Doubt by Greg Boyd is a book for those Christians who are afraid to express doubts, afraid to question the Bible, and afraid to talk to others about these doubts for fear of judgement and condemnation.

It is Boyd’s contention that certainty has become an idol in the church, especially in the evangelical, pentecostal and charismatic wings. For some, unquestioning affirmation of a set of beliefs has become the hallmark of Christian faith. Doubt and questioning have become the enemy, unequivocal allegiance to doctrine is a precondition of fellowship, and certainty is elevated to that of a demigod. The result is the church lacks the tools to grapple with uncertainty and many faithful Christians end up leaving the church through shame and condemnation.

Boyd invites us to embrace a faith that doesn’t strive for certainty but rather for commitment to Christ. He argues that wrestling with God and scripture, ‘screaming at the sky’, and giving up a commitment to certainty are all healthy and necessary parts of our spiritual journey. He contends we can have a rich and fulfilling relationship with Christ even with unresolved questions about the Bible, theology and ethics.

Boyd’s views on the role of doubt are part of his ‘big picture’ in which open theism plays a big part. However there is much that can be gained from this book without having to subscribe to this. I don’t always enjoy his writing style but I’m glad I didn’t stop me completing this thought-provoking and ultimately hopeful book. I read this at a time when many of my long-held ideas about faith were becoming just too heavy to keep carrying round. This book didn’t exactly challenge my faith but did help to articulate some of the thoughts I was having. In brief, subscribing unwaveringly to certain beliefs is not faith; faith is trusting in a loving God, demonstrated through the self-giving sacrifice of Christ, even when you aren’t really sure of anything at all. Following this journey might be unsettling and we may well be misunderstood. But it might just transform us in a way that worshipping at the altar of certainty never can.

Greg Boyd is senior pastor of Woodland Hills Church, St Paul, Minnesota. He blogs at ReKNEW (http://reknew.org/). Benefit of the Doubt is published by Baker Books.

What I’ve Been Reading

img_0009Some readers might be aware I have undergone some changes in my faith recently. To a non-believer these might seem trivial – I still very much identify as a Christian – but from my perspective some of the shifts in my belief have involved a significant realignment. Part of my story has been the influence that reading has had upon the re-forming of my faith. The charismatic network I spent the last 30 years in, with all its wonderful people and vibrant witness to the goodness of God, was nevertheless somewhat of a mono-culture in relation to beliefs. It distinctiveness was for a large part in a set of beliefs, one of which was that these beliefs were the right ones. In such a context questioning and debate is only possible within very narrow limits. Thank God that we live in an age of mass publishing and the internet.

So I present the following five books as a sample of some of the reading I have been doing these past few years, some so called ‘Christian’ books. Just as significant have been the fiction and nature writing that I return to over and over, but those will have to wait for another time. Let’s be clear, these books are not all well-written, not equal in significance, and certainly not the only books that have made a deep impression on me. But they have all challenged my thinking, nourished my soul, fuelled my prayers and left me more awe-inspired and in love with the God who revealed himself as a carpenter from Nazareth.

The books are:

I’m publishing these reviews as separate posts over the next couple of weeks starting off with pure gold from Jersak (click here).

 

A More Christlike God

jersakI’m kicking of this series of posts with a review of A More Christlike God by Brad Jersak. If I were to recommend just one of these books, this would be it. I was immersed in a legal model of salvation from an early age but have done some serious questioning about this in recent years. Jersak articulates much of what I have come to believe.

What if we conceived of God as completely Christlike: the perfect Incarnation of self-giving, radically forgiving, co-suffering love? What if God has always been and forever will be ‘cruciform’ (cross-shaped) in his character and actions?

‘God is like Jesus’ is the simple thesis of this book. Jersak contends that the statement ‘The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being’ (Hebrews 1:3) is actually true. Few Christians would disagree. But many beliefs and whole systems of theology held by Christians are actually the antithesis of this statement, and lead to many harmful beliefs and practices.

Jersak begins by discussing ‘What is God really like?’ and examines several un-Christlike images of God, for example, the doting grandfather, the ‘deadbeat’ dad, the punitive judge, and Santa Claus. He examines the fundamental nature of God and concludes he is a God of Love not a God of Will, that is, the will of God does not make a thing loving, rather the love of God finds expression in his will.

Jersak goes on to explore the Word made Flesh, God as revealed in Jesus. He argues that the cross is the ultimate revelation of the love of God. This was not a legal transaction but the self-emptying love of God, absorbing all the sin, hurt and brokenness of humanity. The cross did not pit the Father against the Son, but ‘God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself’ (2 Cor 5:19).

This leads to a conclusion which may be disturbing for some, that where God is portrayed as acting in a way (or sanctioning actions) which Jesus clearly taught or showed were unloving, then this portrayal of God cannot be true. It is God incarnated in the person of Jesus that is the true revelation, not the scriptures whose whole purpose is to point us to Christ.

This ‘unwrathing’ of the cross leads into an unwrathing of God. Jersak dismantles models of atonement and salvation which are characterised by an angry or wrathful God intent on punishing sin, arguing instead that God’s heart from the beginning of the human story has always been to save, to heal and to restore. This all leads to a more ‘Beautiful Gospel’; one that is truly good news for all of humanity, not merely for an elect few. God has not turned his face from sinners, but has come to us in human form and taken on all our sin, suffering and even death itself, in order to restore humanity to loving fellowship with him.

Jersak has succeeded in producing a very readable book which is both thought-provoking and inspiring. I highly recommend it. It might just change the way you think about God,

Brad Jersak is an author and teacher based in Abbotsford, BC, where he attends Fresh Wind Christian Fellowship and serves as Reader at All Saints of North America (Orthodox) Monastery. You can read more about him at his website www.bradjersak.comA More Christlike God is independently published on CreateSpace and is available from Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats.